Allowing for Failure

Whenever we begin a new endeavor or project, one of the first things that come up in the minds of most people is the fear of failing. This probably stops more people from doing things they’d like to try than anything else. After all, we are programmed from an early age that to fail is a bad thing. We are “bad” boys and girls if we don’t get the A in school. Or we’re stupid, clumsy, lazy, a flunky, a _______ (insert the word of choice) if we don’t do as well as someone else thinks or wants us to do.

It’s no wonder by the time we reach our teens or earlier, failure is a big fear for us.

What they don’t tell us is that failure is only feedback. It just means that we need to adjust the course. To do something different. We used to have a saying back in the south where I grew up—“There’s more than one way to skin a cat”. Not a very pretty saying but it sure gets the message across.

There’s always more than one way to do something. Maybe we just haven’t found it yet. And if we give up, we’ll never discover it.

The Navaho have a wonderful tradition when weaving their rugs. They know that we aren’t perfect beings so to leave room for God (Spirit’s) perfection they deliberately leave an imperfection in their work. On a rug it’s called a “Spirit String” and if on beadwork, it might be a bead in the wrong place. This allows Spirit to be a part of their work.

Although we aren’t perfect, we often seem to think we have to be. For many this can be a deeper issue of not believing they are worthy or maybe they are “less than”. These limiting beliefs keep us in a failure loop that plays out over and over in our lives. Most of these beliefs get created when we are children and take on what others say about us. Unfortunately, they’re much easier to create than to let go of.

If you feel like you’re carrying a limiting belief about your ability to be successful, here is one technique sure to help:

1.     Identify the belief you’re carrying.
2.  Notice how it makes you feel and where in your body you’re feeling it.
3.    Ask yourself: When did I develop this belief?
4.    Also ask yourself: Who was involved in the development of it and what was going on at the time?
5.    Now imagine that you can position yourself so that you are an observer of what is taking place.
6.    Notice who is doing the talking and what is being said.
7.    Notice how you are taking on this belief and whether it’s even valid at the time.
8.    Ask yourself these questions while at the “observer” position.
9.    Does this belief belong to me or am I just taking on someone else’s belief?
10.  Is the belief even true?
11. Is there a valid reason for this belief?
12.  What do I really believe about this and myself?
13.  By this time you should begin to notice differences in how your body feels compared to how it originally felt.
14.  Now, imagine you can take the new belief you have about yourself and play out 3 events in the future where you actualize that new belief and notice how different it is     for you.

So the next time you stop yourself from doing something for fear of failure, think about it as feedback, check for a Limiting Belief and remember: always co-create with Spirit. After all, we are spiritual beings having a physical experience.

If you need more help or feel this is a bigger issue, then why not check out Breaking the Abuse Cycle™ workshop coming up next month. Go to: http://www.debrafentress.com/breakingthecycle.html